Tonight, the FC Berlin Coed team makes its long-awaited debut in the Grand River Soccer League, riding in with back-to-back trophies on their belt and a swagger only champions can carry. This season, they’re not just back — they’re looking better than ever.

Between the posts stands the always spectacular Juan Almada, a human highlight reel ready to deny everything. In the back, the legendary Berlin Wall is reinforced by Thomas Nunan and the ridiculously good-looking Aiden Bertoli, making strikers question their life choices. The terrible Almada siblings — Flo and Sant — are back to bring chaos, flair, and a little sibling mischief to the pitch.

Up top, the beautiful scoring machines Sam Murphy and Alessia Orsini are primed to light up the net like only they can. But that’s not all. This year, two fresh faces join the ranks — Dave Varandas and Brett Springer — injecting more spunk and firepower into an already explosive attack.

And in the biggest offseason move of them all… the old guy has finally hung up his boots. He’s been promoted from comic relief to stats guy — because legends never truly leave.

Season Opener: Tonight at 8:00 PM
Opponent: Friends FC

No matter what happens on the field… nothing will compare to the ruthless destruction awaiting those poor chicken wings after the game.

Berlin is back. Brace yourselves.